Reveal-yaoi-missing chapter

-schneiders pov-

I have to tell him.

Somehow.

Do I really have to?

I mean...

What would he think?

Shit I dont know what to do....

I grab my head in frustration while I walk to and fro between my bed and my patio door. I was getting dressed, still have my pants on. Though not belted up so they hang on my hips. I cant stop thinking about it. Im worried I'll continue to have these dreams, having feelings for him and yet not.....really having him...damn I dont even know if Im making sense to MYSELF! Now that I look back on all this, our friendship. Ive always been "close" to him. Never really minding if we had to share hotel rooms on tour, interviews....hell if he wanted to go out to a club for drinks Id follow knowing I would be having a good time.

Maybe thats it, why I like him so. Ive never really been angry with him, minus rehearsal arguments. But, never really angry...at him. His whole being. Character. I dont know if that means I LOVE him, Im not even sure why or how my feelings have reached that stage with him.

Then there was that kiss, or makeshift CPR. I dont fucking know what it was. That has yet to leave my mind. If I think about it enough I swear I feel as if Im back in the water. Our mouths together, how he handled himself with me. Much like how he acts with anybody. 'Just let me do this and dont complain about it. Something along that line. I still dont understand why he did that, I had enough air to make it back up in that swimming pool. Does that make it affection? I stop walking and stay in one spot at that thought.

Could he?......

I fall backwards and sit on my bed, slouching over. I still havent gotten used to my new haircut and how it would get in my eyes. Eh Ill get over it. Best to just stop thinking about him. I yawn and stretch my arms, not having much sleep since that dream. We have a big day planned too. Autograph signing soon down in Berlin,

The fans are waiting for me there.
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-Richards Pov

I wish I couldve been at the fan signing but I had a meeting about my project that same day. Figured the guys could handle all the girls, especially Till. He says he hates going out and doing stuff to promote us, but he confessed that he liked the attractive fans that came. Somehow that made me laugh. I wait outside the record building for the van we rented to come and get me. Lighting another cigarette that will hopefully make the time go by faster. Ive been having these weird moments of anxiety, impatience even. And I doubt its for my new cd.

Finally after 15 more minutes of doing shit nothing the van rolls up with the horn blaring. Till must be driving. Paul swings the sliding door open.

"Hey Mr. Big Rockstar!" He jokes at me. I just glare at him as I put out my smoke. All the front seats were taken. Fuck. Oh well. The backs okay I guess. I manage to fit myself back there. Its a bad choice on my part but I dont bother with my seatbelt. Schneiders sitting next to me, just kind of leaning on his left hand dozing off. He looks bothered about something.  Hell I would be too if I had to sign and deal with "im your biggest fan" for a good few hours. Maybe its a good thing I didnt go. The door slams shut and Till screeches the tires just to be a hotshot. I nearly bash my head on the side window from the sharp turn.

"What the fuck!?" I exclaim. Till simply laughs about it and keeps driving.

Man how do I deal with these people?

The rest of the guys are just relaxing in the car. Schneider looks like hes out cold, sleeping on his forearm against his window. Definately doesnt look comfortable. Flake keeps messing with the radio button, yelling whenever he'd get info commercials instead of music. He finally gives up after two green lights of slow busy traffic. I lose interest in watching them and look out the window. Wondering why Ive been feeling so strange lately. My mind goes back to that one day.
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Till starts to laugh loudly as Paul falls into the pool in a belly flop from Schneider uppercutting him in the crotch. Im just trying to relax on the one lawn chair we had near the pool. Noticing a pair of sunglasses I left on a nearby table. Till nudges me in the shoulder.

"What do you thinks going to happen when he resurfaces?" I dont say anything and just get up. Before Schneider jumped, when he was just sneaking around the board, Till started to talk to me. Making a bet with me, saying if he went through with it I would go and kiss him. If he didnt, no kiss. Simple little 'i dare you' thing.

Then I hear the splash when they both fall in. So I just get up and dive into the water.
---

The car swerves again and I snap out of it.

"Goddamnit man!" I shout, resting back on my knuckles. I hear shuffling next to me so I look. Schneiders trying to fall back asleep. I start to feel sorry for him, I can see hints of dark circles under his eyes.

------

Im walking back, still wet from the pool.

"See? Told you I could do it." I smirk at Till and his stupid bet. Falling back into the chair, slipping on the sunglasses.

-------

Guilts washing over me now, maybe this was my fault.....Till swerves again, this time schneider leans and his head touches my shoulder. Normally Id shove somebody who does this off. Go sleep on something else, I would say. But with what happened......He starts to press closer to me, much like he did when I found him on the floor in his room. Not saying anything I let him sleep on me, kind of enjoying it really.

----

We make it back to our house. Tills tired too so he doesnt slam the breaks. Schneider fell back asleep on my thigh. Been like that for a good 45 minutes. Everybody starts to get out, all of us tired and wanting to go to sleep. Till looks at us through the big sliding door. Nodding his head at me,

"Hes been like that for a few days now."

I scratch at his head to try and wake him up. "No, dont wake him up."

I cant just stay in this car.....

"Okay." I move my body around him so I can slip my arms under him. "Ill carry him in."

Till just smirked at me and moved one of the chairs out of the way. Helping me out while Im carrying Schneider in my arms. His head ends up tucked and against my chest. When Tills not looking I smile as I make my way to the door. What? I like it. Ill admit.

---

I manage to open the door to his room with my shoulder, hes still out cold in my arms. I notice the sheets to his bed are messed up. Man how long has he been sleeping like hell? His head moves closer to me.

"Rich?..." He murmurs. Suddenly his eyes shoot open and he makes this surprised noise at the fact Im holding him. "Richard!" He shouts at me and manages to squirm out of my arms and he scoots in that space between his wall and bed. Now, Im confused.

"Schneider?" I try to move closer to him.

"You stay the hell away from me..." He says in a scared tone of voice. Like Im some weird monster.

"What? I didnt want to wake you up..."

"No no no I mean with all this. You keep doing stuff with me.." He looks away.

"Stuff? Now youre just being foolish."

"Now I'll dream THIS up and its going to happen all over again!" I can see water forming at his eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Now Im really confused. Schneider sniffs back as he starts to cry.

"I keep dreaming, you do these things to me......." He trys to hide from me, Im just trying to talk to him.

"Things? what -"

"It started with a kiss.....we kissed....."

I perk up at what he just said.

"Beg pardon?" I say slightly amused.

"God...I knew you would be like this...why am I even telling you....." His hair hiding his face.  I start to feel bad thinking this was a joke. "Just forget it.." He continues.. "Leave me alone.."

I dont move, I continue to look down at him.

"Why are you so scared?" I finally ask, trying to not sound in anyway that would trouble him.

"Because I liked it thats why!" He snaps at me before trying to hide his face, looks like hes shaking too. Theres that guilty feeling again. I slowly walk over to him and crouch down. My boots squeaking. I touch his face with one hand. He tightens up, trying to neglect me.

"Schneider....." I say calmy...

"No...." I see another tear go down his face.

"Schneider look at me...."

These bright blue eyes meet mine, its making my heart break. Still holding his face I brush his hair out of the way with the other hand.

"Richard?" He whispers, surprised probably. Our lips touch then. My eyes are shut and yet I can tell his are wide open. His body tight and nervous. Finally he gives in, closing his eyes and relaxing. I can feel him purring against me. I dare not rush him though so I dont part my mouth. We pull apart but our faces remain close. Hes breathing nervously. He smiles and I try to wipe some of the tears away with my thumbs. Tilting his head we kiss again. Still no tongue, just enjoying the sensation. He holds onto the back of my head. His legs I can feel relaxing and bending so I can sit down. He sits in my lap and I place a hand onto his neck. My own body starting to get that familar feeling. Suddenly he pulls away again, noticing hes ontop of me. He blushes and shys away. Resting against the wall, the tears have stopped now.

"Again....Why are you so scared?" I smile at him with a rather pervish look on my face. A little secret of mine is now out, Im curious to see what he'll do next. "Come on. Get up." I grab his wrist and pull him up to his feet. Making sure he can hold his ground, he walks to his porch door. Probably wanting fresh air. I catch up to him and wrap my arms around him so he doesnt move. Im equal height to him thanks to my boots. "So....tell me about this dream...."